26 Responses to “Facial Flex”

  1. Allee Willis

    Now, I can’t say mush this one having been good friends with Victoria Looseleaf back in the day. She was a massive Del Rubio Triplet fan and, in fact, the great clip of them singing my “What Have I Done To Deserve This?” is from her cable show. (see all at https://www.alleewillis.com/blog/2011/01/10/allee-willis-kitsch-o-the-day-the-del-rubio-triplets-and-a-valentines-day-card-for-milly/) So I must behave and not say anything about this MASSIVE CHEESE PLATTER other than to say, “WHY WASN’T I the spokesperson for Facial Flex?!!!”

  2. Douglas Wood

    Thanks for the Classique d’ Camembert! I have to say all my instincts told me this gem might nab the award– I just knew you’d flip over it (but I DIDN’T know you were friends with the Fabulous Facial Flexer herself.) I’m hoping you’re close enough with her that the next time you run into her you can manage to ask, “WTF WERE YOU THINKING?!”

  5. Mark Milligan

    Great post Douglas!

    That really looks uncomfortable. And something about it makes my ears itch the way only a Q-tip can find resolution.

  6. denny

    This is nuts. I laughed so hard when she was flexing and praying! Well deserving of the Camembert Award.

  7. windupkitty

    hahah wow, is it just me or does this seem more like performance art than an informercial? IS it a real informercial?!?! NOw I’m totally curious…I”ll have to search the net more, which i’m sure will be reliable….. I actually thought she was hilarious….Placido in the background…wow…..ok, this HAS to be art……

  8. Douglas Wood

    I’m really hoping it’s real– there’s nothing worse than FAKE kitsch– what’s the point? (When I profess my love of bad movies and someone says, “Oh, you have to see ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES” I know that friendship is over.)

    Something about Allee’s forceful two word response tells me I don’t need to question this any further.

    Now THIS is the kind of thing people should be endlessly debating– not whether or not our distinguished President was born in the US!

    • Allee Willis

      I always use ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES as a benchmark. As soon as i hear that fall out of someone’s mouth they’re outta here…

    • windupkitty

      hahaah wow, you know i’ve never even seen attack of the killer tomatoes on principle…i hear ya on that one! on that note, i just recent;y re-watched Beach Girls and the Monster….what a triumphant example of kitsch that flick is…one of my favorites..always perks me right up :)

      yeah, who’s gonna argue with the Queen of Kitsch, right? i have to say though, that i’m not entirely convinced that the actress wasn’t in on some kinda joke even if not just to herself…there’s jsut something about her performance that reminds me of Louise Lasser doing a character, ya know? Maybe i’m just hoping she’s in on the joke for her sake…..

      i think it’s great that morons are debating where the president was born…it’s keeping them busy…fewer animals are being trophy hunted, fewer books are being burned, you get he picture :D

      • Allee Willis

        Not only is Beach Girls and the Monster, original title “Monster From The Surf” one of my all time favorites, (take Valium now) I’m friends with Sue Casey, the female lead!!!! I met her at a party about 8 years ago. We were talking and I kept thinking I knew her. I could hardly concentrate on what she was saying it was driving me so nuts. Then all of a sudden it hit me. I SCREAMED!!! She couldn’t believe I knew the film. She’s fantastic, very hip. Still stunning. I always threaten to have a screening here at Willis Wonderland and have her make a guest appearance.

        • windupkitty

          SHUT UP, SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, i try TRY to keep my potty mouth in check on the awmok, but seriously, i am completely losing my shit here….wow, NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOly shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya know the only reason why I refer to it as the second release name is cause when i recommend it, it used to not come up under the original release title….HOly effing cow…this is seriously one of my favorite movies of all time and it was my goal to cover the songs form that film when a little garage music was being pounded out…they are always stuck in my head, those songs……wow, now way….i am so glad that she’s alive,well, and just as beautiful as ever, not to mention hip..OK, if you DONT do a screening and party, I’m not sure I can forgive you….that’s like walking away from a plate of fresh french fries…you just don’t do that!!!!!

          • Allee Willis

            You know, of course, that Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote the music…? Does the remake still have those interminably long title sequence with the stock surfing footage? If we ever have an AWMOK convention here in LA I will definitely have Sue speak!

            • windupkitty

              yep, it sure does…. i gotta find it on dvd…my old vhs tape is so trashed, but then it’s kinda meant to be watched that way….

              ok, allow me to enter a serious,sincere and enormous vote for an awmok convention…..

  9. Douglas Wood

    Ok, if Wind-up Kitty and Allee both recommend BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER, it’s now on my Netflix list.

    And the Louise Lasser reference made me smile. I love her and wonder where she’s been lately– the last time I saw her was in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM where she had a small part. In addition to the Woody Allen movies and MARY HARTMAN, she was brilliant on a few episodes of TAXI where in the final couple of seasons she played Judd Hirsch’s neurotic ex-wife.

    • windupkitty

      yeah, you gotta see this film…it’s truly wonderful…..i know, i loved mary hartman mary hartman….and yeah i remember her on taxi as well! i loved that show…watched the heck out of it again on netflix last year….what a cast…..

  10. Mark Milligan

    WTF is fake kitsch? You guys are again making me feel so inferior. I just grew up with the shit, and there’s no guarantee I know what I’m posting here. I feel like I’m living in a world of Einstein Afkitschenados.

    • Allee Willis

      Things that are knowingly made trying to be kitsch. Those are hopeless and a true aKitschionado can smell them a mile away. Movies that are trying to be bad, like Attack Of The killer Tomotoes wayyyyyyy miss the mark. Kitsch is rarely successful if consciously made. Only a true master aK can pull it off!

      • Mark Milligan

        Sorry about the swear word. I get that. Once you said “consciously made” it hit me, and you’ve said that before. I guess I could start by spelling aKitschionado correctly!

        Douglas you’ve obviously brought us a great post, look at all the comments!

    • windupkitty

      hahahaa oh no, we’re arrogant akitschianados! :( but yeah, ya know, i guess it’s kinda like the hipsters trying too hard to be hip? i’ve been listening to the fleshtones lately, so maybe that’s why on the hipster trip…here’s a song for you

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HENnJ2pgXM8

      kitsch should happen by accident and/or at least come from the heart…that’s what i’m thinking….

  11. Douglas Wood

    Wind-up Kitty and Allee–

    Thanks for the strong recommendation on BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER which I watched last night and is now one of my favorite bad movies of all time. It’s everything you promised it would be and more.

    In answer to your question– the interminable stock footage of surfing isn’t used in the opening credits but in the body of the movie. The opening credits have interminable footage of 4 bikini-clad chicks dancing their asses off (the end credits reveal they’re actually real go-go girls from Whiskey A-Go-Go!)

    In the Bonus materials there’s the original trailer and it contains a gem that’s a “first” as far as I know in all my years of watching bad movies– you can see the boom mike in a shot. Obviously boom mikes are a staple of bad movies because there’s no option to reshoot when you have a tiny budget, but the fact that an editor actually used the shot in a trailer and that it was approved by the studio that released the film is mind-boggling!

    Allee– your friend, Sue Casey is gorgeous and I’m not surprised she’s hip in real life– unlike the abominable acting of her peers, her performance was playful and had a slight tongue-in-cheek quality. (Frank Sinatra, Jr. on the other hand, should hang his head in shame for that opening song.)

    • Allee Willis

      SO HAPPY YOU TRACKED IT DOWN!! Sooooooooo classic. I think I’ll have to dig it out and watch it again. I can’t believe they changed the title sequence.

      • windupkitty

        So,So glad you watched it and loved it! I”m curious to see the new version…Oh man, if you like boom mics, you gotta watch Secret File Hollywood…the boom mic appears so often, it’s practically a character….So glad you loved this film…viewing it is an important milestone in human development!