When I first looked at this Chinese import from the Dollar Store I thought that it was much too straightforward to qualify as a product I love because of really bad translations on the packaging. But then I saw that the spelling of Protective had mutated to ProteEtive. So I started nosing around the packaging and found that it very much lived up to my high expectations for cheap products coming from the Orient.

Although I’ve never heard a clothing garment bag referred to as a “Dust Protective Set” let alone a “Dust ProteEtive Set”, it’s pretty clear to me that these are, in fact, garment bags. However, I’m really not sure how I’m supposed to be “sweeping neat” or what the act of sweeping has to do with anything proteetive anyway.

Similarly, I’m very happy that “the dust protective defends the tide” but I’m not sure what the ocean has to do with anything. And the cover of a “Dust Protective Set” doesn’t seem to be the right place to start a song lyric. I’m also grateful that my new garment bags are “beautiful generous” though I prefer those qualities in people. I almost thought that the last selling point was about to make sense but ultimately am much happier about the forgotten ‘c’ in “practial convenience” than if these people had enough money to hire a skilled translator.

As far as the graphic goes, I understand the garment bag and the suit that goes in it but I’m not sure what that loaf of bread looking green thing is doing there.

Perhaps it’s just another illustration of the proteetive bag lying prone to show you that it can be overstuffed, or oversteefed, with clothes. I do hope that the bags themselves are constructed better than the title of the product, though I would never rip the plastic to get them out as I’m far more concerned with proteeting the sanctity of the Proteetive packaging than I am about proteeting my clothes.

Thank you, aKitschionado Margaret Lewis, for your generous contribution of one Dust Proteetive Set to the physical collection of The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch at AWMOK.com!